"Om. Gone, gone. Gone beyond, gone way beyond. Awakened. Yes!"
Gone way beyond can entail two meanings. First, a suffering-free existence. We could call this heaven or nirvana. No brokenness. No incompleteness. This potential lives within us. Second, going way beyond now in the realm of brokenness, incompleteness, and suffering. We can cross the Samsara River, finding inner peace within this realm. We can find the crossing over within ourselves, even while we embrace the brokenness we inherited and gained during this life. We can wake up now and see clearly and be fully alive. We do not have to get to a heaven or a nirvana at another place and time. We can live with this paradox. We are in the realm of brokenness and wholeness right now. We can realize we are on the other shore now and have a lot of rowing to arrive there. We can arrive there, for we are there.
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One of my earliest impressions of Zen Buddhism was an article I saw in a magazine about the practice of kintsugi. The syllable kin means "golden," and tsugi means "joinery, to join with gold." When repairing a broken teacup, rather than disguising or hiding the broken places, they are highlighted, contributing to a new kind of beauty. The practice of kintsugi belongs to the Japanese ideal of wabi-sabi, the appreciation of objects that are simple and unpretentious, with a rustic, aged quality. Wabi-sabi recognizes the beauty of things that are incomplete, imperfect, well-worn, and venerable.
*Laura Burges. The Zen Way of Recovery.
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Burges writes, "All of us are slightly broken." She comments on kintugi with a quote from Rumi: "The wound is where the light enters you."
Some people are slightly broken, and some are more than slightly so. Regardless, we are all broken. We are all incomplete. We wear suffering and incompleteness like a piece of daily clothing. The shroud of brokenness clothes us when we wake from sleep. It visits us in dreams and restlessness during sleep, finding a way to slip in even then.
And all this sounds like bad news—but is it? The brokenness, like a cup waiting to be put back together, beautiful and radiant, is receptive to our welcome. Spirit is the master kintsugi craftsperson.
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Welcoming the shardiness cannot occur through denying, trying to control, or fleeing. We befriend the fragments, look down the dark alleys, and see opportunity to beautify our lives and help others to beautify theirs. Light is no less light for shining in darkness.
A shard is still the same cupness as the cup before the breaking. In one shard, we can see the cup. In one hint of our incompleteness, we can see wholeness aglow. Each piece is a promise and prophecy of a new beginning. In Christian imagery, this is saying the resurrection was in the cross. We cannot separate wholeness and incompleteness, bliss and sadness, or any other apparent opposites.
We connect with others through our brokenness, as we connect with them through our unbrokenness and what cannot be broken. Spiritual relationships join through the inner essence, our True Self or spirit, which is who we are before the brokenness. As says a chant from Plum Village -
We are clear blue sky We are clear blue sky Clouds come and clouds go We are clear blue sky
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Sky and clouds interare. The sky is in the clouds, the clouds in the sky. They share in the same wholeness. We appreciate more clear blue skies, for we welcome cloudy, rainy days.
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I have provided spiritual wellness care for many years with persons with substance use disorder, mostly in prisons and jails. I cannot say, "I understand what you're going through." I am not in recovery and have never even smoked a cigarette. I have never consumed an illegal substance. Now and then, I drank alcohol, but never much of it. I have not had any for many years and have no desire for any. However, I, too, share incompleteness with every person I have given spiritual support to who was in recovery or needing it.
The role of a light-sharer is to see the wholeness in others, even those who cannot see it in themselves or believe in it. We see and speak forth wholeness for others. We teach primarily through example about how to cultivate the seeds of wholeness and how to cease nourishing the seeds of suffering.
The light can come in through brokenness, which is like a cloud covering over the bright essence I am, as well as that of the group or person sitting before me. The light coming through speaks of compassion and shines with the one Light we share. There is one Presence in the room regardless of our various experiences and the diverse ways we are broken.
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We return, by growing forward, to what cannot be broken. We lead others there. The cannot-be-broken is where the light shines from. We can all shine, regardless of our past experiences. We are not those experiences. We are not brokenness. We carry brokenness. We participate with others in healing. The broken can take on beauty through it being embraced in compassion and kindness.
Our path is to bring the broken into harmony with the Light of lights. The Light heals. And healing is sometimes not a cure, even as the mended vessel cannot become never broken. But if we cannot return to the brokeness to before broken, it does not mean the brokenness cannot become lovely. By Grace, it can be.
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A key to healing is not becoming attached to the brokenness. We need space between ourselves and it. We can identify with it, so we unconsciously block healing. We identify with the story and lose perspective. We may even fear healing. Instead, witnessing our suffering, brokenness, and incompleteness with clarity and compassion supports our healing resolve. The whole within us calls us to wholeness.
We host our brokenness, welcoming it in and to relax with us, but we do not give it keys to our home. It is a guest. We see it all from the heart, our point of connection with the Light of lights.
What image(s) do you use for what I refer to as what cannot be broken? What word(s)? What does the "light" Rumi refers to mean to you? What helps you return to the innately unbroken? What are signs you are connecting with it? What are signs you have disconnected from it? How do you return? Has someone been especially helpful in connecting you to the Source of the light? Is there something you could change about your daily life to enhance your healing process? Are there moments you feel compassion for yourself? What does that feel like? How does that contrast with feeling guilt or shame?
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*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2024. Permission is given to use photographs and writings with credit given to the copyright owner.
*Brian's book is An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love. The book is a collection of poems Brian wrote based on wisdom traditions, predominantly Christian, Buddhist, and Sufi, with extensive notes on the poetry's teachings and imagery.
